My first summer read, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey, could not have come at a better time. The last year has been difficult at times for me both professionally and personally. Reading this book has helped me to re-focus on the principles that guide me as a husband, father, son, brother, friend, educator, and colleague. For the past year I have felt negativity and criticism creep into my daily interactions with others and I feel as though some of my relationships have weakened because of this (possibly because of the Emotional Bank Account that Covey refers to in his book). Even while reading the first few chapters I felt an incredible sense of relief and grounding as I looked inside and was able to personally focus and re-evaluate who I was, who I am, and who I want to be. In particular, these two quotes reminded me of the man I am and want to be through all of my interactions with others, professionally and personally:

“Make small commitments and keep them. Be a light, not a judge. Be a model, not a critic. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem.” (pg. 100)

“As a principle-centered person, you see things differently. And because you see things differently, you think differently, you act differently. Because you have a high degree of security, guidance, wisdom, and power that flows from a solid, unchanging core, you have the foundation of a highly proactive and highly effective life.” (pg. 136)

“Peace of mind comes when your life is in harmony with true principles and values.” (pg. 310)

Here are my 7 habit take-aways from this profoundly encouraging and uplifting book:

1. Principles and core values need to be at the center of my interactions with others. For me, these are to be helpful, kind, caring, supportive, encouraging, and trusting!
2. I need to change my habits, be proactive with events and activities in my life, and really choose how I react and respond to different situations. How I respond to what I experience in life is what really matters.
3. Making commitments and keeping promises will support me in being both proactive and building a strong Emotional Bank Account with others.
4. I must seek first to understand and then to be understood. The power of empathic listening builds strong relationships and moves everything forward.
5. It is extremely important to understand the balance of leading and managing. Quadrant II activities (pg. 159), such as relationship building and recognizing new opportunities, will support me to be more effective and efficient.
6. At the beginning of the book I highlighted personal areas of growth: exercise, service, spirituality, and professional reading. I need to exercise these four dimensions of renewal (pg. 300) regularly, consistently, and in a balanced way.
7. In order to be effective in all that we do, we need to involve others in the problem and work out the solutions together. This is at the core of my beliefs and will guide me both professionally and personally.

If you are looking to make a change in your life or to have a renewed sense of your core values, beliefs, and principles…I suggest you begin by reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey.